Smith Wars: Revenge of the Clerks

So, it has come; the day that we all hadn't really expected-or at least I hadn't.  Kevin Smith released the hounds of an inevitable CLERKS 3.  To tell the truth, the sequel was a bit unexpected, and pretty superfluous, escaping what I love about CLERKS.  Growing up with the Askewniverse (aka New Jersey) the continuation of CLERKS was always Mall Rats, and Chasing Amy.  I will not grumble about it, because I enjoyed the second Clerks film, but to be honest Abc, 123 musical numbers, and Goodbye Horses dance references are always pretty rad where I come from(which is not actually NJ but as close as you can get without ever truly knowing how to negotiate a damn jug-handle on the highway.)  

So Mr. Smith has declared that this will be the best movie he will ever make.  Those are pretty big words considering it has only been a few days in the making, and still in the first draft.  As to what we can expect, (which isn't much considering there is no date for production to start and nary an awesome action figure tie-in yet), I will be assume that Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson, and Jason Mewes will be involved, since if any of them were missing it wouldn't be much of a Clerks movie.  I wouldn't mind having a return of Rosario Dawson-she was a great addition to the cast-because sometimes you do go ass to mouth (she is not the ass in this scenario).  

Now for a little outlandish speculation, as we like to do here at Loaded Dice. Perhaps the full title of the movie will be CLERKS 3-D.  Also I will predict that a certain George Lucas shall be directing, since he has all this free time, now that that he has handed the albatross about his neck (oh ... that is his neck), over to Disney.  Finally, it will also turn out that the entire series of Kevin Smith films was just a masismic weed dream of Jay's the whole time.

So hit us with your hopes, and fear of the eventual CLERKS 3 kids, and by all means toss in your own outlandish BS.


Yeah Yeah I know cheap shot at Lucas, gobble.

Good gracious I hope Suzanne returns.